Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
