Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
