if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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