I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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