She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
