operation have a gay friend backfired
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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