I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
