and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
smell my finger.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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