you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
