we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
