Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
