no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
