I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
