the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
