Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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