spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
