I feel like abortions should bother me more
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
