I wish I could punch you in the face.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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