Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
