3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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