her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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