mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Pants are for mortals
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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