i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
