roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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