For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
