38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
