I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
