I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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