are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
