he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
