You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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