Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
