If that was your dad, he is hot
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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