This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
