She's JV to your varsity
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
