So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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