I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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