I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
