everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
