If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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