just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
