Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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