do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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