Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
