We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
