She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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