Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
