It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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