if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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