there's paper in my vomit.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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